Many things are going on in my life and mind. Work, life, parents, myself, their life, my life… I am old. They are old. I am fine. They are not.

Continuing in academia is difficult due to low salaries and geographical uncertainty. I do not know yet where else to go outside of academia. I do not want to go back to India but it seems that is where I am likely to end up.

This is life…

I go to the university and dream of having a career in academia. I come home and face the reality. I live here and dream of having a life in Europe or somewhere outside of India. I go back to home in India and face the reality. I flew under an open sky until now. They made me able to fly. I had money, books, good education, and everything I needed to do well in studies. I reached here due to all that support. Now they are running out of steam. I face this reality every day but I do not want to. I want to avoid it for a bit longer. I just want to close my eyes and go about my life. I want to live within my own bubble for a bit longer.

Well, at least I haven’t lost one of them like my friend did. She is having the most miserable time of her life. I am at a much much better place. I am lucky to still being able to think about these things. She is currently living a life she didn’t choose. At least I have a choice, however useful this choice might be. At least I am still a free bird. I want to fly freely for a bit longer…