Here are a few words of wisdom for myself by myself (in no particular order):
Don't chase perfection
It’s an old trait of mine. I picture things happening in a certain way and then I try to them exactly how I imagined them. It affects every aspect of my life. I go to presentations imagining how it would go, how awesome it is going to be, and I get very upset when it does not go as well. This kind of imagination gives me motivation to do my best while preparing but it is equally discouraging when the things do not go as I thought they would. The same goes in my personal life. For instance, when I started this blog in 2019, I thought of writing physics articles on this. I imagined them to be so awesome, and when I could not write to that level, I got so discouraged that I stopped altogether and converted this into a personal blog. I wonder what would have happened if I had realistic expectations. Perfectionism is bad for me. It makes me fly unrealistically high before anything actually happens, and I fall really hard when things don’t work out that way. I have been trying to work on this for many years but 2022 was the year when I really made some progress. I am positive that the next year is going to be even better because now I have gotten into a habit of thinking differently, which takes us to the next point.
Maintain the balance in your life
There are times when we get so hung up on this one thing that we forget everything else. We spend all of our resources to get this one thing right but in the process we neglect all the other areas of our life. The whole world comes crashing down upon us as a result of this behaviour. One thing broke down because of a certain reason that might or might not have been under our control, and the rest of the things break down due to our own neglect. This is something I have been suffering from my whole life. I suffered from it again in the last two years. I can’t say if I suffered more or less compared to the past, but I am certain that this year I had more time than ever to think about my behaviour. I analysed my actions and I could see this pattern. This realisation helped me to get back on my feet this year after being unwell for a very long time. I would like to keep functioning like this. I made a rule for myself that I stand on five pillars: my mental health, my physical health, my network(friends and family), my work, and my passion. If some of the pillars go down, I must ensure that the others remain intact. My health makes the most important pillars because if my health goes down, I cannot do anything, which takes me to the next point.
Shed that dead skin
I learned to get rid of the things that were weighing me down. Before this year, I would try my best to maintain it. I would go an extra mile to keep it fresh and pleasant. But not anymore. Well, we are humans. Our nature does not change much, but I can really see that I became more practical this year. Now when I see that my relation with someone has gone stale, be it a friendship, a relationship, a family member, a colleague, I just let things be. The situation either becomes better with time or we grow even more distant. Of course, there are times when I slip into my habit of trying to make things work, but for the most part I am more comfortable than ever to stay away from the person to protect my inner peace. I would keep doing this the next year. It helps me to keep a practical perspective.
Communicate with actions
This is something that affects me a lot. I have a tendency to have too much or too less faith in people. Instead of judging someone by their actions, I judge them by the image I have of them in my mind. It affects my relationship with this person. I either believe in them too much or too less. The problem is also in myself. Oftentimes I say things I do not mean, or I say things that I realise later I don’t want to act on. So the next year I would like to be more practical. I would like to keep my words to myself as much as possible because that gives me the time to analyse the situation. The other person will know my answer in the form of my actions. Similarly, if I gain this consciousness, I would also pay attention to the other person’s actions instead of being biased due to having too much or too less faith in them. “Your actions speak louder than your words”. I want to live by this saying. As of now I am really bad at this.
The key to long-term happiness is to seek happiness inside rather than outsourcing it to something external. Being self-sufficient is a survival skill. I am already decent with this skill but I would like to improve next year.
Work for yourself
Employers are selfish. It’s my responsibility to protect my personal life from being eaten by my employer’s wishes.
I would like to be more practical with work next year. I want to think more about how my work helps me grow rather than focusing on other people’s wishes. This point will become more important in the coming years. Right now it’s here just to remind myself to be conscious about it.
Live for yourself
When I wake up every morning, I should have something to look forward to that is independent of other people – something I am passionate about. I don’t want to live a life where I am alive only for other people. People are not for ever. This point is also here just to remind myself to be conscious about it.
It is not the first time when I thought of writing such a note for myself before starting a new year. I thought about doing so in the past years as well but I never got enough time, peace of mind or space to do so. This year I had a lot of time to reflect on my actions and also the time and space to write them down.
My life changed dramatically in the last two years. It feels like I went through a phase transition. During the last two years, at times I was in the most miserable state of my life, but at the end of it all, I am the stronger than ever.
Huh, 😏 such seriousness… I scrolled up and realised I forgot to write the most important point of all.
Have fun 🤩, be happy 😁, and radiate positivity ✨
Bye bye 😊