B86 - Commitments
Commitments, it feels good when we fulfill them. I made a commitment to a collegue last summer that we will bake a cake together to bring to the department. Her birthday was on January 19 and mine on January 22. We baked a cake today. Two, actually. It feels good. I kept my word. I learned to bake in the last two weeks. I baked two cakes. I did well. Today I contributed as an equal partner, which was her condition for me.
Another notable event, my parents can come, it seems. There is no appointment available in Delhi but I saw yesterday that now Jalandhar has slots available suddenly. Now I can make an appointment. I had given up and had lost motivation to make the visit happen. I was avoiding the matter in the last two weeks because I was having second thoughts. I was wondering if would be able to manage my work and all that. I was talking to my parents yesterday and had called to tell them that we can’t do it now. But just before I called I saw one spot was available in Delhi. My motivation came back and went ahead to book. I couldn’t because there was only one spot and I needed two for my parents. Then I called them and told them I was looking at the visa applicaiton. My father cheered up a bit (because he could also feel that I kinda didn’t want to do it in the last two weeks) and then I checked Jalandhar. Somehow the whole month is available now. It’s good. I want them to come.
Now I am digressing but it’s related. I was reluctant to cancel the trip because I realised something very important last year: “Modify, don’t cancel”, I like to call it. Before I made this motto for myself, I would just cancel on people for selfish reasons, often without thinking about them. I have been more considerate since I realised this. Even with the cake, I didn’t want to cancel because of this realisation. I had second thoughts about the cake as well. I was not in a good mental state at the beginning of this month. I was under work pressure. I had all these usual daily life excuses for myself to say no. I was still wondering what to do until the moment I ran into this colleague for the first time after Christmas holidays just one week before my birthday, but I immediately proposed to do it, quite enthusiastically, because deep down I really wanted to do this. We delayed the baking date by one week due to other reasons as well but my lack of preparation was also a reason. But we did it! I am very happy and proud of myself that I kept my word. It was not even a promise. It was just a casual chat we had during the lunch one day last summer. just like this, I also don’t want to cancel on my parents. I want them to come here. I really want to. It’s just that usually it’s difficult for me to make a plan and execute it till the end. I lost motivation mid-way but my principle helped me stick around and now appointments showed up in Jalandhar out of the blue. It worked out.
Now another topic that I wanted to write about today. The stuff above is something that popped in my mind when I started to write.
I want to focus. Now I know very well that I have trouble multitasking and that I lose focus very quickly. I get distracted easily. So I want to make some changes to my life to focus on just one goal. Everything else should revolve around it; only then I can do it well. I took a step in this direction today.
Something else I want to do this year: I want to do more and watch less. I made this resolution at the beginning of this year. I am doing well so far.
Okay, *yawns… b’noches…